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今天收到一封mail,一個英文笑話,可是中文翻譯只有前半段,

我想後半段應該是他懶得翻吧!

所以有興趣的人可以練習翻譯一下,

沒興趣的人就看看吧!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
妻:你在作什麼啊?
 Husband : Nothing.
夫:沒作什麼。
 Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
 hour.'
妻:沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書,足足有一小時了。
 Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
夫:我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
妻:為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?
 Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
 picture and the problem  disappears.'
夫:當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。
 Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!'
妻:你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!
 Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
 there be greater than this  one?'
夫:是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢?
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Stress Reliever 

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your
  worries, troubles and  lighten your burden.'
 女孩:婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。
 Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or  troubles.'
 男孩:親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。
 Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
 女孩:哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,  he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
 子:今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位小姐。
 Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
 母:嗯,你這麼做是對的。
 Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
 子:但是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。
 _____________________________________________________________
 A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my
 father hadn't left me a  fortune?'
 一位新婚的先生問他太太:如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我,你會嫁給我嗎?
 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO
 LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
 女人溫柔的答道:親愛的,不管是誰留下巨額財產給你,我都會嫁給你的。
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
 my sexy body?'
 妻問夫:你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?
 He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of  humor.'
 他回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。
=============================================================
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
                                1. a friend
                              2. a companion
                                3. a lover
                               4. a brother
                                5. a father
                                6. a master
                                 7. a chef
                             8. an electrician
                              9. a carpenter
                               10. a plumber
                              11. a mechanic
                              12. a decorator
                               13. a stylist
                             14. a sexologist
                            15. a gynecologist
                            16. a psychologist
                          17. a pest exterminator
                            18. a psychiatrist
                               19. a healer
                            20. a good listener
                             21. an organizer
                             22. a good father
                              23. very clean
                              24. sympathetic
                               25. athletic
                                 26. warm
                               27. attentive
                                28. gallant
                              29. intelligent
                                 30. funny
                               31. creative
                                32. tender
                                33. strong
                             34. understanding
                               35. tolerant
                                36. prudent
                               37. ambitious
                                38. capable
                              39. courageous
                              40. determined
                                 41. true
                              42. dependable
                              43. passionate
                             44. compassionate
 
                          WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
 
                     45 give her compliments regularly
                             46. love shopping
                               47. be honest
                             48. be very rich
                          49. not stress her out
                        50. not look at other girls
 
                   AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
 
        51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
          52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
      53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
 
                           IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
 
                           54. Never to forget :
                                * birthdays
                              * anniversaries
                         * arrangements she makes
 
                          HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
 
                             1. Show up naked
                               2. Bring food 


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